I can’t help it

It’s just the best damn music ever! It makes me so happy and sad at the same time.

“Grey Room”
Damien Rice

Well I’ve been here before
Sat on the floor in a grey, grey room
Where I stay in all day
I don’t eat, but I play with this grey, grey food

Désolé, if someone is prayin’ then I might break out,
Désolé, even if I scream I can’t scream that loud

I’m all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Well I’ve been here before
Sat on a floor in a grey, grey mood
Where I stay up all night
And all that I write is a grey, grey tune

So pray for me child, just for a while
That I might break out yeah
Pray for me child
Even a smile would do for now

’cause I’m all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Have I still got you to be my open door
Have I still got you to be my sandy shore
Have I still got you to cross my bridge in this storm
Have I still got you to keep me warm

If I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
’cause if I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Oh ’cause nothing is lost, it’s just frozen in frost,
And it’s opening time, there’s no one in line

But I’ve still got me to be your open door,
I’ve still got me to be your sandy shore
I’ve still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
And I’ve still got me to keep you warm

Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah

I’m in the habit of posting lyrics

“Poor Little Rich Boy”
Regina Spektor

Poor little rich boy, all the couples have gone
You wish that they hadn’t, you don’t wanna be alone
But they wanna kiss and they got homes of their own
Poor little rich boy all the couples have gone, they’ve gone, they’ve gone

And you don’t love your girlfriend
You don’t love your girlfriend
And you think that you should but she thinks that she’s fat
But she isn’t but you don’t love her anyway
And you don’t love your mother
And you know that you should
And you wish that you would
But you don’t anyway

Poor little rich boy, all the world is okay
The water runs off your skin and down into the drain
You’re reading Fitzgerald, you’re reading Hemmingway
They’re both super smart and drinking in the cafés

And you don’t love your girlfriend
You don’t love your girlfriend
And you think that you should but she thinks that she’s fat
But she isn’t but you don’t love her anyway
And you don’t love your mother
And you know that you should
And you wish that you would
But you don’t anyway

You’re so young, you’re so goddamn young
You’re so young, you’re so goddamn young
You’re so young, you’re so goddamn young
You’re so goddamn young
You’re so goddamn young
You’re so young, you’re so goddamn young
You’re so young, you’re so goddamn young
You’re so goddamn young

And you don’t love your girlfriend
And you don’t love your girlfriend
And you don’t love your girlfriend
And you don’t love your girlfriend

because it’s stuck in my head…

“Rootless Tree”
Damien Rice

What I want from you is empty your head.
But they say be true, don’t stain your bed.
And we do what we need to be free.
And it leans on me like a rootless tree.

What I want from us is empty our minds.
But we fake, we fuss, and fracture the times.
We go blind when we needed to see.
And this leans on me, like a rootless...

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through.
I said leave it, leave it, leave it,
It’s nothing to you.
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out
Let me out, let me out?
It’s hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
Hell when you're around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.

What I want from this
Is to learn to let go.
No, not of you
Of all that’s been told.
Killers re-invent and believe
And this leans on me, like a rootless...

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we’ve been through.
I said leave it, leave it, leave it,
It’s nothing to you.
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out
Let me out, let me out?
It’s hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out.
It’s hell when you’re around.

Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around.

Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out!

So fuck you, fuck you, love you
And all you’ve been through.
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It’s nothing to you.
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me, hate me so good
That you just let me out
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out?

Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out, let me out.
Let me out, let me out, let me out!

Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around.
Let me out, let me out, let me out
Hell when you’re around...

WTF mate?

I may very well be the most retarded person I know.

Seven years ago, the woman of my dreams calmly walked right into my life. We clicked instantly. We spent any free time we had calling each other up, just to talk. She drew me a picture of a metaphor. I drew her a picture of who knows what. She wrote two pages in my yearbook, one of which was a poem. I jotted down a quick paragraph in hers. She called and wrote letters over the summer. I switched schools and gradually drifted away from all contact with her. I was her first love, she was the girl of my dreams (even then!). She calmly walked into my life. I abruptly walked out of hers. She now lives in California. She has been married for a few years. There's nothing I can do. I skipped over my one shot at the future I always imagined. Now I know the price.

Over the holidays I attended an 8-year (don't ask me why!), 8th grade reunion. I arrived early, so I chatted it up with my friend and classmate, Justin, and his girlfriend. After a while, Justin's cousin, and another classmate, Steffan showed up. Neither of these was really a big deal since I've seen them both recently and nothing huge is going on in their lives (other than graduating and looking for work). Then John arrived. I hadn't seen him in years. He had brought his girlfriend. They're pretty cute together. More and more classmates from 8th grade began arriving. Kristofer and his wife. Kelsey and her husband. Nicole, but without her fiancé. Jackie, who I found out through conversation with her is now married and has a two-year-old son. Kailene, who is also married, and her baby. Suddenly this "casual" get together was a huge deal. Out of 12 classmates that were present, only four were completely single. Out of those four, I estimate that only one will still be single at the next reunion.

Me.