why do I despise documenting my life?

I don't get it. I love blogs. I actually enjoy the moments I do write things down. I, for one, have a very feeble, delicate, and often malfunctioning memory system. I can't remember people's names, even if I went to high school with them, I can't remember the proper dates and times of things that happened in the past or are supposed to happen in the future, I can't even remember what homework I have due in what classes, or when my next test is going to be. These seem like pretty pertinent things to remember. However, I can remember random things like login names and passwords to all kinds of sites and FTP servers, I can remember phone numbers, PIN numbers and how to do math equations. I remember what order my clothes are supposed to be in (I'm a little OCD) but not which clothes I wore yesterday. The thing that scares me most about my memory is the fact that I seem to be losing my childhood. It's like I have a limited number of VHS tapes in my brain on which to store information and I've run out of fresh tapes and now I have to go about taping over things in order to store new information. Both of my sisters have incredible memories of when we were all children. They can remember places, events, names of people, faces, foods, smells, sights, tastes, and touches. It just amazes me whenever we all sit down and start talking about our childhood. My memory just doesn't seem to work that well.

Because of this loss in memory, I should be jumping at the chance to write things down. Even if I am not jumping at the chance to do so (as I am not), I should understand the necessity of writing certain, important things down and I should be doing it diligently out of a sense of urgency if nothing else. But I am not. I write down random things that most likely really won't matter in a few years. Like how awesome a certain concert was, or how much I hate my classes right now, or how I feel like a certain teacher has treated me unfairly, or how little sleep I got. These things are fun to write about and fun to read about (at least for me, but I'm kind of boring), but they should be EXTRAS in my writing. They shouldn't be the main focus. I should be writing down people's names, ages and birthdays in some sort of People Book (more commonly known as an address book), and I should be writing down meetings I have and things that are due in another book (some sort of scheduler or planner, I suppose), and I should be keeping track of my thoughts, mainly my creative thoughts, and recording my jam sessions (because all of my best songs are on-the-spot songs that I don't remember the next day), and writing down things that people say, especially really important things that people say.

However, I think the main reason I don't like writing things down on a regular basis is exampled finely by this post. I write a lot. Needlessly. Everything I'm saying in this post could most likely be summed up in 2 to 3 sentences. I have too many words inside my head and I feel like unless I get them all out I haven't fully expressed who I am as a person. Which doesn't really matter, because what do Joe and Jane blog-reader care about who I am as a person? I'm a people watcher; I can't get enough of watching other people's lives. But I doubt that most people in the world are like me. Most people would be reading this post and wondering to themselves what they can get out of it for themselves. "How will this help me live a better life?" "What knowledge am I learning through reading this?" "What is the thesis and what are the main points of this blog post?" Those sort of questions. Nothing like, "Oh my. How interesting this person's personal problems are."