So Much Life, So Little Time

Why does it always seem as though I have a million things to do? There are just way too many things to get done. I'm up every night until at least midnight (generally a couple of hours later) and I still never feel like I've accomplished enough during the day. I have a website for my music that still needs to be even started, I need to do a redesign of my portfolio website, I have about four blogs that need makeovers (and some posts to go with), there are books to be read, AppleScripts to be written, applications to test (and delete if I don't like them), languages to learn (including, but not limited to, French, Italian, German, PHP, more JavaScript, and I'm totally letting my nerdy side hang right out there), and about 999,993 other things that I feel should get done during my day. Yet, I constantly find myself mesmerized in front of the boob-tube catching RGB rays for about 2 hours a day. Even if nothing is on. Worse yet, whenever I watch TV I'm constantly eating. Tonight I had a blueberry muffin, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (a definite classic), and I polished off one of those huge boxes of GoldFish snack crackers. Not to say that it was full, half full, or even a quarter full before I polished it off, but I still feel like an omnivorous swine. Even if that adjective doesn't work here. I still feel like it.

On a less pessimistic and whiny note, I was glancing through a book about Swiss design that Dennis got me while he was in Vietnam recently visiting his family, and I realized that my Swiss heritage is very apparent in my work. I'm so grid oriented. Everything needs to be just so; completely organized. Even my codes have to have a certain structure or else they're just not worth my time. I guess in many ways this is a good thing. In a lot of ways I view this as a positive trait, but when combined with my need to have things "perfect" in my eye and my tendency to procrastinate, not a lot gets organized, finished, or even started. The main trouble is that if I don't think I'll be able to finish something the way I think it deserves to be finished, I won't even start it. Not even an attempt. Nothing. By the way, I think about 10 sentences back or so I just started typing to be typing. I'm not even saying anything anymore. It's just one long fruitless rant about already overly-exposed shortcomings.

Blah blah blah blah blah blah.

The end.